2020-05-24

#234: 2nd Birthday

[Banner hanging from ceiling, with confetti. Fred, Max, Elaine, and Amanda sit at a stable, while Spider-Fish hangs from a thread.] \nBANNER: HAPPY 2nd Bday* \nCAPTION: *Actually April 22nd \nFred: Woooo! \n[Fred drops a simultaneously burning, molding, and frozen cake onto a plate.] \nAmanda: What happened to the cake? \nFred: That's actually a funny story. \n[Fred explains.] \nFred: So I'm at the store, right? And there's this cake just lying on the floor! And so I grab the cake and go. \nAmanda (off-panel): But then why is the cake on fire? \nFred: Well, technically the store was on fire. So I grab it- \n[Amanda looks worried.] \nAmanda: Wait, on *fire?!* \nFred (off-panel): Only one aisle. \nFred: It's probably ok, right? I was wearing thick clothes. And I had a water jug with me. \nAmanda (off-panel): ...I'm getting the cake next time.
Two years! Wooo! 🥳 Wow, can't believe it's been two years. Also can't believe my posting schedule has been offset so much I'm celebrating it more than a month late 😩😂
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2020-05-10

#233: Norris Poker (Part Five)

[Norris Poker, holding a phone, climbs out of a skyscraper window and onto a red beam on which Fred sits, hanging from wire. In the background, a lady fights her evil Venus flytrap.] Poker: Ok, I think we lost - [A laser cuts the wire.] SFX: ZAP [Poker falls off the beam, passing the phone to Fred in the process. Fred hangs on.] Poker: ! [Fred's POV. He desperately taps on the phone, trying to create a wormhole.] SFX: TAP TAP TAP [Meanwhile, Poker is still falling.] Poker: AAAAAAA [The newly created wormhole ripples the fabric of space.] [Poker falls into a glowing wormhole. In the background, a person is floating while meditating, a robot is electrocuting its unfortunate creator, a person types on an old computer, and a T-rex chases people across the apartment building.] SFX: FWOOM
This one took a long time! Been putting a lot more work into the art lately.
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2020-05-01

#232: Norris Poker (Part Four)

[Poker is standing above a thief with his hands on his hips.] Thief: Ok, ok! I did it! I'll give you the phone. [Thief hands Poker a phone from a box of phones in a pile of phones, money, and jewelry, some in boxes.] Thief: Here. [Fred is tapping his phone. It's not turning on.] CAPTION: LATER... SFX: CLIK CLIK CLIK Fred: ?! [The panel darkens. Fred realizes the phone is fake.] [Fred is angrily explaining to Poker on the phone, sitting on the couch with his laptop on his lap. Poker is leaning against a shady brick wall with his phone to his ear.] Fred: The guy got away scot-free! We need to go back! Poker: Ok, ok. Calm down. Is there anything special about the phone? [Close-up of Fred.] Fred: Last week, I downloaded an OS that lets you manipulate wormholes... Poker: Wait, what? [Poker hangs up.] Poker: That could be catastrophic! Meet me there, stat. SFX: beep [Thief is snoring in bed.] Thief: ZZZzzz [Poker and Fred are sitting on a beam hanging from a crane outside the skyscraper apartment building. Some rooms are lit up, and silhouettes of people dancing at a party, a person working at a desk, and a person jumping over stakes are visible.] Poker: Let's go. [They have arrived in a large room with a large pile of money and a much larger pile of phones. One is ringing, but it is buried under the others.] Fred: This must be where he keeps the real loot. Laptop: LOCATING PHONE... Buried Phone: 🎵 [Fred whips his head around. Thief is carrying a high-tech laser gun.] [Poker holds up the saved phone. A laser hits the panel wall.] Poker: Found it- SFX: PEW [Fred shoves Poker into a run.] Fred: RUN! SFX: PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW
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