Tiny Stripz: April 2019

2019-04-30

#140: Infinity

"You can't do that!" says Alex. "Yes I can." says Max. "Can't!" says Alex. "Can" says Max. "Can't times infinity times whatever you say!" says Alex. "-1!" says Max. "The absolute of whatever you say!" says Alex. "Aw man..." says Max.

The All-Powerful Equation of Doom: WHATIMSAYIN x INFINITY x (ABSOLUTEOFWHATYOUSAY+1) I decided not to read this comic on TikTok.

2019-04-29

#139: Buy One Thing

"But Mooom-" says Max. "Fine, we'll buy ONE THING." says Elaine. Alex is also there. They go into a store with many giant colorful boxes advertising HDTVs, Apple Cruise Ships, Smart Watches, etc. The caption is MISSION: FAILED with FAILED in a red stencil as they walk out with a shopping cart overfilled with boxes of T Shirts, Color Pens, Smart Watches, etc.

Why does a smart watch come in packaging as big as a fridge? No one knows...

2019-04-27

#138: Tennis Thief

"Aw man!" says Fred as he hits a tennis ball over the barbed-wire fence at a tennis court. "What?" asks Amanda, holding a tennis racket. "I hit a ball over the fence." explains Fred. "Again?" says Amanda. They search for it in the bushes. "How come we can never find these balls?" complains Amanda. "Dunno." says Fred. "Oh well.." says Amanda. They start to head back. A bluebird flies out of the bushes and into its nest, which is infused with all Fred's "missing" tennis balls he hit over the fence.

Tennis-ball-infused nests: the hot new bluebird trend?

2019-04-26

$"Hi! Today we'll be putting a straw in a glass of water." says Fred. "You can see the straw looks broken! That's because of refraction!" A glass of water with a straw appearing broken inside is shown. "Thank you for watching, and...Wait. The straw IS broken." says Fred as he tries to take the straw out of the glass, but it really is broken and he only removes the top half. "What's happening?" asks Fred as the glass rises into the air. Everything goes dark, the glass glows and starts zapping KZZZT stuff. "Help!" says Fred.$

WHO DARES WAKE THE ALL-POWERFUL REFRACTION?

2019-04-25

#136: I Before E

Grady is telling the reader, "Remember, kids - I before E, except after C, and when sounding as A as in neighbor and weigh. Also, only when the moon is full, and when the crickets are making racecar noises, and..."

"My brain is literally exploding from all these English rules." "You mean figuratively!" "AUGH!"

2019-04-24

#135: Puppy Dog Eyes

"So can I?" asks Max. "No, Max." says Elaine. "Pleease?" asks Max. His eyes turn shiny and adorable-style. "Stop doing your puppy dog eyes." says Elaine. "Pleeease?" asks Max, his eyes swelling to the size of oranges. "...That's creepy." says Elaine. "Puh-leeeez?" asks Max, his eyes swelling to the size of larger-than-usual apples. "AAAGH!!" screams Elaine.

Do this to any mom, dad, sister, etc, and they'll give in, not because you're adorable, but because they want you to stop doing it.

2019-04-23

#134: Easter

"And then he-" says Amanda to Elaine. THUNK comes from off panel. "Oh no..." says Elaine, as two rabbits run on panel from the right. "hide!" says one. CRASH the right wall splinters. Amanda and Elaine flinch. Amanda is surprised as Fred, holding lots of bunnies, crashes through the wall. "It's EASTER!!" he says. "Do you have to do that every year?" complains Elaine.

"The Easter Bunny will put you on her Naughty list."

2019-04-22

#133: Our First Birthday

"It's our 1st birthday!" says Fred. "What?" says Elaine. "Let's celebrate!" says Fred. "Ok?" says Elaine. A red banner declaring YAY! YAY! YAY! appears. "Nice banner." says Elaine. A dancing Max and Alex appear, both wearing sunglasses. "Hi" says Alex. Rhino and star piñatas appear. "Where's all this stuff coming from?" asks Elaine. "Help!" she says as worms, ladybugs, confetti and disco balls appear.

THE DECORATIONSSS ARRRE COMMMING FOR YOUUU

2019-04-21

#132: Conversation in a Nutshell

Fred rakes up a pile of leaves, dumps gasoline on it, and throws a match on it. It burns super bright for 30 seconds, then is just a pile of ash.

The conversation just dies away...

2019-04-19

#131: The Ecosystem

A Celestial Manager, a creature with many limbs and glowing cyan goggles, shows the reader a red web and says "This is the ecosystem. Every creature, animal, plant is intricately woven into this delicate-" HUMANS comes on-panel and says "Cool!" "No-" says the Manager, but HUMANS starts furiously hacking at the web. "Whee!" SNAP SNAP

"Hey look, an animal that might possibly be a slight danger to me! Let's get 'em!" "Stop-" "Hey look, trees! Looks like there are lots of them! Let's chop them down!"

2019-04-18

#130: Expelliarmus

AAA! DARTH VADER! APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE! CHASING ME! tells Alex to Fred. Darth Vader shows up. "I know what to do!" Fred says and holds up a flashlight. "A flashlight?" asks Alex. ZOOP! CLIK Fred turns it on, and it's actually a red lightsaber. "EXPELLIARMUS!" He points the lightsaber at Darth Vader like a wand and a jet of red light comes out and hits him off-panel. "Ow!" says Darth Vader from off-panel. He is annoyed. "I think you're getting your fiction mixed up." says Alex. "Huh, maybe!" says Fred, shaking the now-off lightsaber.

"It's bad enough you panicked and tried to shoot a Patronus at Luke Skywalker."

2019-04-17

#129: Autocorrect

Max sends Fred a text message. "Thanks for coming to visit! Where ru staying?" "In the" types Fred. The phone suggests In the hotel, In the evil lair, and In the oven. "?!" says Fred.

Autocorrect is the wurst. I mean the wurst. No I am trying to say the WURST not the WURST! AUGH! Someone fix autocorrect!

2019-04-16

#128: CoffeeMakr

The comic is an ad showing two nearly identical coffee makers, each made of the following items: a CoffeeMakr™ Pitcher™ which is labeled CoffeeMakr™ Pitcher™, a rectangle labeled filter. a rectangle labeled water, a clock that says 10:45 (unlabeled) and start and stop buttons (unlabeled). The first CoffeeMakr is captioned CoffeeMakr™ Pretty cool.® and labeled CoffeeMakr™. The next CoffeeMakr is captioned CoffeeMakr™ PRO® A whole new coffee maker, except, no, it's pretty much exactly the same.™ With PRO in italics and red. The only differences are that the CoffeeMakr is labeled CoffeeMakr™ PRO® and the clock is labeled Has CoffeeMakr™ 24-Hour Clock™ setting!!

[Sorry, this text has been eliminated™ because™ viewing this requires™ TINY STRIPZ PLUS®.]

2019-04-15

#127: Double Rainbow

Fred and Elaine are looking at a rainbow. Each rainbow is captioned. First is a normal rainbow, captioned RAINBOW. Then a double rainbow, captioned DOUBLE RAINBOW. "Ooh!" says Fred. Then is a rainbow that is upside down and ends at the sky, not the ground, captioned an UPSIDE DOWN RAINBOW. "Are we doing this wrong?" asks Elaine. Then a pixelated eye formed out of a rainbow appears, captioned ?? It says "DO NOT TRIFLE WITH ME, WEAK HUMANS. YOU ARE DEALING WITH POWERFUL FORCES. "Really? Cool!" says Fred. "I'm talking to your boss about this." says Elaine.

Identifying rainbows is so complicated these days.

2019-04-12

#126: SOS

Amanda is teaching Alex and Max. She has a telegram on a table. "Hi kids! Today we'll be learning about the telegram. If a ship was in trouble they'd send out an SOS signal, a series of beeps that told other ships they need help! Like this..." Amanda uses the telegram to go bip bip bip BEEP BEEP BEEP bip bip bip. CRASH chunks of plaster come out of the wall and the table breaks. Everyone is blown back. A red biplane with Fred in it emerges from the hole. "Who? What? Are you hurt?!" says Fred. "No, we're fine..." says Amanda. "Oh, ok..." says Fred. VRRRRM... the biplane backs out of the hole.

"So kids, when there's a fire, first get out of your house, then call 911-" *CRASH* "What fire?!" "Nothing."

2019-04-11

#125: Whom

Fred says "Who'd you go shopping with?" Grady smugly replies, "Ahem. I think you mean, "Whom you shop, with going to shop?"" "Oh, sorry. Wait, what?" says Fred.

"You know, let's just all give up on 'whom', throw it into the discarded pile of words with 'thee' and 'forsooth'." "You mean, 'Whom should we all give up on and throw into the discarded pile of words with 'thee' and 'forsooth'?'" "AUGH!"